How to deal with separation anxiety when you’re a homeschooler

BACK TO BLOGOSPHERE

Hello homeschooling moms/dads and tots! Back to blogging here. It’s been awhile. My mind was put on hold and so were my fingers because we went on a mini-vacay. This time, there’s a huge difference. We left our homeschooling kids under the care of my parents, my girls’ grandparents. How I’m missing them much! The house is so empty. It’s so quiet. No little hands are messing up the house except that of my husband’s and mine! Ugggh. I’m missing them so badly that there’s a huge hole in my heart.

It’s Feb 11 already, almost 1.5months have passed. Time’s passing by so quickly I could hardly catch up. I have so much time in my hands right now because my kids are not with me for a couple of months. But it seems that the more time I have, the more that I could not get my tempo yet. Most probably because I couldn’t believe it yet that I’m having this grand time of my life. No. I’m currently undergoing a separation anxiety moment from my girls. For a couple of days, I was crying. My kids were not crying. They were having some homesick moments but they knew just how to deal with it by putting their clenched fists on their chests while saying ‘COURAGE’. Oftentimes, I find myself doing that.

My kids are so resilient. I realized that this week. My youngest would often say, “I wanna touch you or feel you, Mom” and those words would often pierce me. But she wouldn’t cry. There was a time that she was feeling so sad because she missed me so much but when I was able to talk to her, she didn’t cry or show any sign that would make me disoriented from feeling guilty of leaving them for a couple of months. I remember when I was their age and until even when I’m already grown up, I would often cry when there were attacks of homesickness. I realized that being with my kids 24×7 for 5&7 years and counting, respectively, have made a huge difference in the lives of my kids. I knew in life that there will be bouts of physical separation between and among us. Today’s separation period from them is helping us both in dealing with all the times that we will be separated physically and especially when it’s time for them to go solo.

Regarding my daughters’ homeschool program while on vacay, we hired two teachers who will be supervising them. We tried to enroll them in a physical school back home but we realized that they were no fit for my daughters’ needs. We’re currently awaiting for my daughters’ new homeschool program. We’re done with our first school because it was so tedious and rigid that we all ended up exhausted, burnt out, and not able to enjoy life while learning thereby losing the essence of the flexibility that homeschooling brings. After so much consideration and sleepless nights, I finally found the one that will suit us fine. I hope.

Enough of intro. That was a longish post already. What brought my fingers here was to blog about dealing with separation anxiety when you’re a homeschooler. As I told you earlier, it’s my first time to be away from my kids and that’s killing me softly. Oh don’t get me wrong. My kids are in the safest hands, love and care of my parents. They’re the best when it comes to child care and pampering! My youngest daughter would often ask her grandpa to buy her toys though! Hahaha. It’s just that, you know, it’s more difficult for a homeschooling parent to be away from their kids than how their kids would feel. Learn from my experience on how to deal with separation anxiety when you’re a homeschooling parent.

SEPARATION ANXIETY

In this post, I’ll be talking about parental separation anxiety and separation anxiety in children.

Wikipedia defines separation anxiety as a disorder wherein an individual experiences excessive anxiety  regarding separation from home or from people to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment. While this is common for young kids, parents do experience separation anxiety.

Here’s how I am trying to deal with the separation anxiety thingy between me as a mother and my kids:

  1. Cry your heart out days or weeks prior to leaving your kids temporarily. I did that. My husband didn’t. So he cried out loud yesterday while we were eating out. He didn’t have a cleansing of his emotions while we were still in the province with our kids. Though crying out loud prior to leaving doesn’t guarantee that you will be homesick-free from them anymore as days go by, at least, you won’t be crying out loud when homesickness attacks. It might just probably some shedding of a tear or two whenever you miss your kids. Yes, it’s natural. Release it when you have to.
  2. Create a schedule that will make you busy. Being a mother, a full-time one, it’s not unusual that we will feel that pang in our heart whenever we remember our kids while being away from them. We will remember them in almost every detail in our house, starting from their clothes, their books, their artworks, their favorite songs, their favorite TV shows and the places you went to with them. To combat excessive homesickness and separation anxiety from our kids, create a schedule that will make you ultra busy.
  3. Learn a skill or two. What is it that you have long been wanting to do but you haven’t yet because of lack of time? Now is the perfect time to do that. Remember that you have a time for yourself, too. Don’t lose yourself while taking care of your kids and husband. Oftentimes, mothers are so tired of being tired that we don’t have the time to look after ourselves. When we have this rare opportunity of being away from our kids temporarily, make yourself a priority. Your future self will thank you. When it’s time for our grown up kids to finally leave away from our nest, we’ll be able to make use of the skills we learned.
  4. Realize that separation anxiety is normal. Prepare your kids in handling their emotions first. This is both normal for kids and parents. Go with the flow. Don’t resist the feeling. Learn how to handle it well by first dealing with your kids’ separation anxiety. Prepare them while they’re still young. In our case, our kids have handled the separation thingy more professionally than us, their parents. This astounded us both! I mentioned earlier that this is our first time to be separated from them and yes, we’re continents apart! You’d realize how it was difficult for us parents than our kids to be away from one another. Here’s what I did to prepare them. While homeschooling them (that meant being with them 24×7 for 5&7years and counting already), I make it a point to leave them once a week. I need to do that to find balance in my life as a mom and person. It’s important that there’s a distinction between personhood and motherhood. Know more about that at The New Rich Mom. I have prepared a special gesture that will help my kids remember my love and warmth when they’re away from me and until they fly solo. COURAGE. That’s a powerful word that has created an impact in them. I told them to touch their heart(s) with clenched fist(s) as they say, COURAGE! When we were about to leave the province, my mother told me that there’s a reversal in emotions already. It’s my 1st born who was asking if I cried. There was even a time when she said she’d not go with me to the airport even though she’d wanted to because I would cry. In the end of course, I asked my kids to go with us to the airport. Yeah, I cried really hard there at the airport and even at the airplane. When they were about to go home that time and during that day, my mom told me that my first born was teary eyed as she put her clenched fist on her chest/heart. Fast forward to several days, they don’t miss us that much. UPDATE as of 4:23PM today, Feb 11. I was calling my two girls to say goodnight (9:23PM back home), my youngest daughter said that she doesn’t miss us yet! Hahaha. Sweet Lord. See what I mean? When you develop your kids’ resilience, the more that it will benefit you as a parent. You will learn to be more resilient than you are, too. My 1st born told me that she misses me. We have this virtual hug that we give to each other when we do video calling. We also have virtual kisses.
  5. Spend more time at the church to nourish your soul. Prior to going home for our vacation, we joined a community at the church. So regularly, we meet for praise and worship. Yesterday, though, I cried because we sang the song that my kids usually sing. :d It’s a normal process, don’t worry. Through time, you will also be as resilient as your kids are.
  6. Watch or listen to inspirational videos/audios. From 1st day onwards, I have indulged luxuriously in watching or listening to videos/audios that are helpful in diverting my thoughts away from my kids. Not only that, I learn a lot from watching or listening to the videos/audios.
  7. Set aside a time to talk to your kids virtually. Yes, invest in a good Internet connection and smartphone. Download apps that will help you connect to your kids. Set a particular time wherein both of you and your kids are free to talk. Make sure you call them regularly so they will be able to remember you and you will see how they’re doing. You can still parent virtually even when your oceans and continents apart.
  8. Rest your mind if you have, too. When your homesickness and separation anxiety is wearing you down, rest your mind. Remember that everything is for the common good. My husband and I are quite relieved and we’re having some couple and individual moments. We have to shine and relearn how to take care of ourselves once again. We’re like sponge these days. We’re trying to do more while we have this separation moment temporarily from our kids. We know that our kids are in good hands with their grandpa and grandma. They’re doing good. We regularly call them. We make them feel that no distance can separate us. Our kids are enjoying their vacation. Our parents are feeling, for the first time, how to be grandparents for real to our kids. Our kids are enjoying their lessons with their teachers. Our kids will be more because of this separation exercise that we have.

Concluding Words

How are you dealing with separation anxiety? How are your kids dealing with separation anxiety? We are all undergoing a lot of emotions here when we are having separation anxiety. Someone said that EMOTION is energy in motion. It’s important to understand the emotions that we are going through when we are physically separated from our family members. Go through the emotion, the process, and then divert your energy in things and activities that will help you go through the feelings of sadness, loneliness, anxiety, discomfort, feeling guilty and more during this separation phase. Always try to look at the positive side in everything.

Happy virtually mothering or parenting during this separation moment with your kids! 

COURAGE!

 

Art Books For Your Creative Child!

Hello homeschooling mommas!

Do you have a creative child or is your child showing interest on art and creativity? Jumpstart your child’s imagination with the complete bundle of ChalkPastel Tutorial ebooks or the bundle of YOU ARE AN ARTIST CURRICULUM!

If you’re also looking for a Christmas Gift for your children or any adult in your life who wants to harness the artist in them, give them this complete set of ebooks.

Click on the image below to purchase the complete bundle.

You ARE an Artist Curriculum Bundle

Homeschool Schedule Free Maker

Hello homeschooling mommas out there!

Are you following a strict schedule?

While we do have a schedule, oftentimes, my kids don’t follow them. Maybe because I don’t put the schedules on the wall; only a piece of paper which they can check (but it’s not working that much). This time, I’ll be printing a per week schedule that they need to follow so they will be reminded every now and then.

I know that my kids do need a clear-cut schedule to follow so they will be more responsible for their homeschool and life schedule. They’ve already improved a lot, as in a lot, in terms of how they manage their time. Did I mention to you that they’re the ones who prepare themselves for our homeschool session? Yes, they take a bath by themselves (oh yeah, they often play!); they dress by themselves (they wear their homeschool uniform); they setup their study area for the day.

(I am contemplating though of transferring their study area again. Alektini’s room is so dark. I need to buy a lamp for her. I am thinking of using the dining table as their study area but I need to buy a new cabinet for their books and school supplies which I’ll put in the living room. Here’s wishing I didn’t sell one of my cabinets before. I could have just brought it along with us when we transferred. But hey, it’s fine. I also didn’t know how that cabinet would fit the new place as it’s already fully furnished. I just knew lately the need for one bookshelf for my kids’ school supplies and books.)

The schedule maker at Free Class Schedule Maker has helped me a lot in making a schedule for my kids! I tried it and it really looked so nice with all the different colors and organized labels. Courses can be added and edited. Schedule can be saved, exported, imported.

I can’t put the whole image here so I’m just posting a snippet of the schedule. (I made a different schedule; final schedule which I’m going to print and post in our wall).

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Try it and organize your homeschool/life schedule!

 

🐝 Mrs Deese
– busy homeschooling bee from Lifestyle Freedom Academy

 

 

What’s the name of your homeschool academy?

Homeschool Name. Did it ever occur to you to have a homeschool name for your homeschooled child/children? I bet you do have a homeschool name. If in case, you don’t have yet a homeschool name for your home academy, try to think of one now and ask your home schooled kids about what they think of it. Voila, they’ll love it for sure. If you already have one, do comment below and post the name of your homeschool academy.

I couldn’t remember exactly as to when did I give a name to our homeschool academy but for a rough estimate, most probably, 3 years ago. I named our homeschool academy as LIFESTYLE FREEDOM ACADEMY. It’s because my kids are enjoying this kind of freedom at a very young age than I did! I experienced this kind of lifestyle freedom only in my 30s! Hahaha.

I remember one time when my two girls made their PE shirt for Lifestyle Freedom Academy. I gave them the privilege to choose what they wanted to draw in their shirts. I still have their shirts but their already worn out so I decided not to take pictures of their shirts which they painted on their own.

Just recently, my two daughters surprised me about their spontaneous feedback about how it is to study at Lifestyle Freedom Academy! My 7yo daughter said, “At Lifestyle Freedom Academy, we do things differently!” My 5yo daughter said, “We do everything differently at Lifestyle Freedom Academy and we study a lot!”

Whoa. Happy homeschooling momma here.

TIPS ON HOW TO NAME YOUR HOMESCHOOL ACADEMY:

  1. It can be your surname. For example, Day’s Learning Academy
  2. It can be the values that you promote. E.g. Honesty Homeschool Academy
  3. It can sound like the schools out there. Sounds like but not necessarily the same as the schools out there. Well, just add Homeschool Academy or Learning Academy then totally it will give a different name.
  4. It can revolve around your lifestyle. For example, in our case, LIFESTYLE FREEDOM ACADEMY. It speaks more of what we do at home on a regular basis.

Do comment below and connect with me at homeschoolingkuwait@gmail.com

🐝 Mrs Deese
– busy homeschooling bee from Lifestyle Freedom Academy

Homeschool Uniform at Lifestyle Freedom Academy

It was in 2014 when I started to let my 1st home schooled child wear her homeschool uniform. She wasn’t wearing regularly her school uniform back then unlike now that she has a ‘schoolmate’, her baby sister.

In 2015, I got these uniforms (see pic below) for my two kids (that’s when my 2nd child started her formal homeschooling). Yes, they feel like they are in a real school setting when they’re in their uniforms. They also wear their shoes. They don’t have their school bags now because I didn’t bring them along with us when we transferred to our new place. They don’t need school bags anyway because they have tons of books on a daily basis and the school bags aren’t enough to handle them. Nah, I bought a kiddie school bag for my youngest daughter and since she’s not going to a physical store, I don’t see any reason for me to buy her a new school bag. She’s not also asking for one, anyway.

Here’s how they look like in their uniforms.

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One of the advantages of having a homeschool uniform is that they get to be responsible for attending their homeschool classes. Wearing their school uniforms sets them in the mood than if they’ll just wear their home clothes. There are times when their homeschool uniforms are in the laundry (they love to change clothes everyday!) so they are forced to choose what to wear while they’re in our homeschool room.

Here’s what they wore (when they couldn’t wear their homeschool uniform). Talk about ingenuity! Well, at least, they’re still wearing their neckties! Hahaha.

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How about you? What do your homeschoolers wear at home during homeschool classes? Do send a comment below or at homeschoolingkuwait@gmail.com

 

🐝 Mrs Deese
– busy homeschooling bee from Lifestyle Freedom Academy

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